Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
