how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
