I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize