I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize