Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
