We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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