Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
