yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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