Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
