Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome†in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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