She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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