his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
