What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
