i barfeds in our rink
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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