There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
