I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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