So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
