I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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