I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
