you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
