What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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