yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
