JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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