People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
