I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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