Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize