just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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