im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
