school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
