so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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