this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's blow job season.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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