Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
