we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
