Your face is a jimmy john
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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