If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
