I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
