So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
