I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize