covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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