My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
