I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
