so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize