Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
