There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize