The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
