He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Everyone says I win the strip club
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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