Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
