my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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