We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
