when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You are a genius and a whore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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