Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
