i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just found a bag of teeth...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
