i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Girls should come with a carfax report
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
