Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Randomize
