trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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