my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
