Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
