Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
