im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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